Drunken Philosophy… for Non-Drunks


“First there was water, created by God with the intention of making man remain alive. But then its role was just that…to let man live till the time messenger of death came. And just living and dying isn’t extraordinary. To experience something that shakes you up…to come face to face with your inner self is. So thoughts were inserted in the man’s mind to create a golden liquid…a potential medium to give man the glimpses of something extraordinary…to make man burdenfree and see life as an empty void.”

                               Piyakkad Shastra, 2nd Century BC


I am not a big drunk, but my friend says I am. He says even after gulping down the entire bottle (of course shared between the two), where he starts to spin like a top I remain intact as if I drank just water. And I realize so. But then I’ve a secret that works for me. I drink four times more water than I usually take while I am drinking alcohol and it helps. While my friends get knocked down or move to another dimension, I am intact like a racing horse. 

Frankly, though I can gulp down half a bottle in one shot, the idea of gulping another or even going closer to another golden bottle doesn’t emerge in my mind even after a month. I drink, but I am not a drunkard. Not at all an addict. But then suddenly a friend erupts out of the blue who is looking for a drinking partner and the moment he spots me, he speaks in the most intimate fashion, “Hello! Friend. How are you doing man? It’s such a good weather and Saturday too. What luck! Life is so short. What do you say?” And even if you had some other plan –maybe of finishing some book kept for long on your shelf or something else, you know—you get swayed by the idea of idling time over golden water. 

Ok, you are asking what’s so special about this golden water. 

Ha! See you are now getting curious. 

Man is the most dangerous creature in this existence. For his personal interest, he has not left even huge whales in the vast depthless ocean or big elephants in crowded jungles. Whether black, white, semi-black, wheatish, dwarf or a giant; a man is a man, creating huge structures and destroying everything that is natural. He has this strange intention of enslaving the whole world. He keeps doing something, sometimes making aeroplanes, electric rail, or even machines that can go faraway in the sky. 

The same man created this special type of water too that can give you glimpses of another world. Oh ok! you want to know what this another world stuff is before I continue. I had a vague inkling that you’d ask this. I know you haven’t had drinking sessions so far. That’s why such curiosity. Good guy you are! You have followed your parent’s teachings very well. But please be cautious. Currently, you are showing a lot of interest in what I am saying. 

See actually what happens there is something strange in this liquid and there are types, you know: Whisky, Rum, Wine, Champagne, Beer, and so on. Whatever type it is, it works the same way in our body. 

The intelligent man knew that human mind is the culprit. If it can be stopped for a while or made weaker, the man can be unburdened of all the past and future he carries with himself. Glimpses of another world can be seen when there is no past and future because mostly even though our body is at the present moment our thoughts are constantly rotating in the past and future—either brooding on a lost opportunity or on a heart wrenching affair or thinking about how much effort to put to become a Manager or Director or a Business tycoon or as famous romantic a hero as Shahrukh Khan. Am I right, my friend? What nice smile you have! Only a man who is ignorant or has no knowledge of the world can smile so innocently. A man of knowledge is serious….very very serious. Sit before him and watch. And if you watch with focus, you can see cobwebs around his minds...the so called cobwebs of knowledge. Forget it. It seems your mind hasn’t yet overtaken you. 

So the man worked on his ideas and liquor—the golden water— was finally born. Whoever tasted it –whether in America, India, Britian, Pakistan, or Yuganda—became its slave. Color may be different but people are people. They all want to be burden free of their mind and the excessive baggage it carries, even though they may claim differently. They may say with confidence, “No, that isn’t the reason they take alcohol.” But believe me that’s the reason…a subtle one which is to be felt than known through reason. 

We are not just flesh and bones, but mind and heart too. Mind drives flesh to take different actions and these physical actions (depending on their types and the reactions they generate) create a mix of emotions. Every day we perform many actions (through our thoughts or our body), and they have equal and opposite reactions. Oh! You are asking how I can say with such certitude. Actually, both science and philosophy have proved it. Whether Hindu or Christian or Muslim or any other philosophy, all say “As you sow, so shall you reap.” Newton’s Third Law of Motion says, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” If you go deeper in metaphysics, it talks in great length about it and will give you many proofs. 

Everyone in one way or another is affected by this complex condition created by body, mind and emotions. Even when you are alone, you aren’t alone. Ha ha! I was expecting that. You are asking how stupid this reasoning is: how can one not be alone when one is actually physically alone. Just think about it. What are you doing when are you alone? You may be at your house or drinking coffee alone or in a mountain or fishing. But aren’t you constantly surrounded by thoughts: thoughts of pasts and future. You aren’t even drinking coffee with full attention. Between the sips and vapors sometimes erupts the beautiful face of your girlfriend whom you loved or your hunky boyfriend who set your pulses racing like the Ferrari of Schumacher. So you aren’t alone. We are troubled creatures. We carry a lot of load of the past and future. Our mood keeps changing and our mind keeps craving for a joyful existence, and it is always under an impression that if you’ve that thing then you’ll be happy. But even then you aren’t. Mystery of that new thing evaporates once you’ve experienced it. Then another and another and another…

But when you gulp down those golden pegs a different atmosphere sets in. Suddenly mind starts to loose its control because alcohol gradually makes it weak. People come close to their real nature or in other words in a state where suddenly the excessive baggage looses its weight. The effect is wonderful. Haven’t you seen in a group (after rounds of pegs) the most hunky guy gets emotional or the softest looking becomes Darasingh? There are others who almost start crying because they once loved someone so much and haven’t been able to forget. All that is buried inside suddenly finds way out. So golden water makes that possible. It makes you burden free for a while and lets your hidden part come out. What you generally don’t express you start expressing after those pegs. 

But then those moments are temporary. You get a glimpse and then it disappears. And because you got a glimpse that made you weightless you want to experience that weightless state again. So you have another session and so many sessions. 

Suddenly, what happened to you? You seem determined. Where are your legs directed to? Oh! You are almost running. You have taken turn and now you are in the same lane where there is an English Liquor Shop. Oh! My god, you are talking to the liquor shopkeeper. Oh! You’ve finally bought a Golden bottle. Don’t fall for it. But I must say that’s a good choice...bottled in Switzerland. Quite smooth!

But beware, my friend, beware!! That’s not a final solution.